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Literature by SylveraDrake

Literature by Shipoopuppy

Written Word by ME-inator

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Submitted on
October 31, 2012
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1.1 KB
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292 (who?)
Every woman owns one garment
that remains tucked away,
saved for special occasions
when it will be seen.

It is almost always midnight
black, or blood red, and
covered in lace, or made
of mesh, soft and delicate
as the skin it covers.

Such things should be hidden,
lest the owner be labeled
as something other than "lady."

It has a power we can't
control, one that transforms
denim and cotton clad
ragdolls into Barbies,

perfectly proportioned plastic,
smooth and flawless hourglasses
that turn on command.

We groan and flinch
as satin strings pull us
apart and together,
and heartstrings are plucked
as we scrutinize our reflection;

we are not diamonds
with perfect exteriors--
we are fractured, as we
realize hourglasses can be exchanged
for quartz watches that are
faster, more convenient,
incapable of failure
made by the obsolete.
An assignment, inspired by The White Dress by Lynn Emanuel.

Edited 11/28/12
(Hopefully) Final Edit 12/2/12

Original version read aloud by the talented =SilverInkblot : [link]

Featured by DailyLitDeviations: [link]
Thank you to =SilverInkblot for suggesting my piece, and to =DrippingWords for featuring it! :la:

Daily Deviation?!
OH. MY. GOD. Was this ever a pleasant surprise. I'm speechless. :faint:
Thank you so, so, so much to =AzizrianDaoXrak for suggesting and ^NicSwaner for featuring!
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-29
Lingerie by ~SurrealCachinnation ( Suggested by AzizrianDaoXrak and Featured by Nichrysalis )
ilyilaice Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
I am loving your words. :heart:
SurrealCachinnation Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014   Writer
Thank you!  This poem is definitely one of my best.  :heart:
Kinglorshi Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Writer
Wow. Beautiful writing and prose. Every passage seemed to stand it's own, each and every one had it's own power. One of my favourites.

This has... actually given me renewed hope in myself for some reason... I am very excited to read something this good! Genuine excitement as I read! :D:D:D:D:D:DD:D:DD

Like, damn.... This may not be a "happy" poem, but it sure is written well. I don't know if I can relate though, which is my fault, to an extent.

My only gripe is at the very end with the epiphany... I don't know if I personally am a fan of "by the way, this is how it is". I am unsure. The line "We are not diamonds with perfect exteriors -- we are fractured" just seems like a statement of "how it is", which I don't know... I need to re-read this on my account to probably get the whole thing.

But, despite my nitpicking, one of my favourite poems I have ever read on DA. That's actually not too much, but I cannot just say it...
SurrealCachinnation Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013   Writer
Thank you so much! :la:

I appreciate the feedback, and I'm really, really glad you found it exciting! I'm pretty much done revising this because I originally wrote it for an assignment, and then it wound up getting a DLD and then a DD, and suddenly I had like a dozen short critiques written on it. :XD:
Kinglorshi Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Student Writer
No problem.

I was troubled with the thought reading prose could never excite me, which is why, when I became excited here, that made me even happier. So this is quite a big piece for me.

Congratulations on the DD. I look forward to reading your other works.
SurrealCachinnation Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013   Writer
Thanks so much! :aww:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know I've featured this piece in my 2012 showcase of literature: [link] :D
SurrealCachinnation Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013   Writer
Thank you so much! :la:

I'll check it out right now.

Sorry I was so late to respond.

But really, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. :heart:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Student Writer
I'm impressed with how you did this. In the first couple of stanzas, you almost convince the reader that this poem is going to be sexy and maybe even dirty, but then you completely turn it around and tell us that lingerie is not exactly a good thing. You make a statement about beauty and being a woman: that beautiful things do not make beautiful women....At least, that's what I got out of it and I loved it:aww:
CassieCros13 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Writer
I haven't done many critiques before this, but this is amazing.

Beautiful and descriptive...I think you should keep the last two lines in as they make the last verse stronger unless you did want to replace them with something else, I don't know how you could replace them though.

I don't see much of a difference of the word choice of lady instead of woman, if you feel it enhances that line better you can add it, though reading it I don't feel or see much of a difference as a reader.

I really enjoyed this, a well deserved DD :)
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